Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
