Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
