oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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