i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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