dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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