That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
