I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
