Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
