Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
