Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I still have a little drunk in my system
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
