he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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