He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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