Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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