all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
