I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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