How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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