its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
