My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
