Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We are two peas in an std pod
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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