Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
