Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
