did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
