Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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