in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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