There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
