i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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