thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
