There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
