i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
