its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
