you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
