would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
