put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
