Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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