things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
