You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
