we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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