so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
