I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
