Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
