I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
