I want to make a zoo with you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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