if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
