i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
