i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
