Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
