the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize