how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
