he wants to bone in the snuggie
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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