I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
