I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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