Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
