You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
