I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
