Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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