I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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