Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
