I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
