I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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