Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
