A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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