Got a toothbrush?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
