Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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